Party? Parents Would You Be Offended?
I am in a Halloween Party Bind, I have friends with kids and I have friends who want to dress up in potentially skimpy costumes, play games and drink around the bonfire. I adore both groups of friends and want this to be a memorable Halloween.
SO
This is what I came up with, have a split party deal.
PART 1: I was going to head up an expedition to a local cider mill/pumpkin patch/corn maze where they do pony rides, petting zoo and the parents can pick out a pumpkin to take back to my place for a decorating contest (no knives allowed, LOL) and have prizes for best pumpkin etc.
PART 2: Those of my adult friends uninterested in the cider mill expedition can show up around 7?8? to start the bonfire/apple bobbing/drinking.
Do you think the parents would be offended if I specified that the bonfire is for grownups only?
What if some parents wanted to bunk over with the kids? How do I handle this?
I am not a parent myself, so any suggestions would be helpful.
Should I just do an event for people with kids at another time?
Also, when you have other people’s kids in your home, what are the liability risks? Like if their child falls or gets hurt will the parents’ insurance company sue you?
Are the parents’ responsible for their kids in my home or am I?
If I decide to do something for people w kids at another time how do I word "leave the kiddos with a sitter" in the invites without ruffling any feathers?
LOL to those who say "just have everyone over for a party" some of my friends, while wonderful well meaning people are not child appropriate when drinking, some of them don’t necessarily like kids.
Besides I don’t think kids and drinking mix and I don’t think it is fair to put a damper on my other friends’ fun b/c they are childless or childfree.
Kids are wonderful! But they can be high maintenance and demanding. I want to be able to relax around the fire without worrying about them running off and poking an eye out.
If people want to bring their kids let them. I would let them know what kind of party it is going to be and let them decide rather to bring the kids or not. It’s not a good idea to have a "no kids party" if most of the guest have children. You do not want a situation where hardly anyone shows up to the party. Remember Holloween is a big day for kids and parents are going to want to be with their kids.
Would I be offended no, would others possibly. Again let them know what kind of party it is going to be. BTW I have been to many parties where the adults drink and the kids do heir own thing. I’m sure there will be plenty of adults that don’t drink and would not mind entertaining the kids.
As for the costumes don’t worry. As long as they are not exposing themselves the kids will be fine. Just remember to bring candy for the kids!
We used to throw the wildest Halloween party when we were in our twenties. Drunkenness, inappropriate costumes, overt sexual behavior etc. So I can hear what you are saying.
I think your idea of a split party is great, if somewhat ambitious. It would probably work as most children go to bed at around 8:00 or so. The parents would head home.
However even people with kids might enjoy a night off. As long as the adult party starts after 7:30 or so they should be bright enough to figure that means, "get a sitter". You could describe the party as an R rated Halloween bash. Or say something cute like "tricks and treats for the grow-up set".
I wouldn’t plan the party for the actual date of Halloween. But I would bet the grown up would be fine with leaving the kids home if they knew. However if you have pony rides and a petting zoo the parents are going to feel obligated to bring the kids and then they will have to leave whether they would like to stay or not.
Don’t worry about getting sued. You are much more likely to get sued is a drunken adult falls down the stairs (or crashes a car) than you are if a child falls down. Hopefully your friends are more responsible then that.
I think you might be overly concerned; parents are just the same people who you partied with five years ago. They are parents now but are not stupid and they are used to deciding what is appropriate for their children.
I will be going to a party for kids where are the music, games and decorations will be PG. I will also still be attending a wild bonfire party; I will just hire a sitter and go home before midnight. I am the same person I used to be I simply have different responsibilities.
Good Luck.
It depends on when you are having the party. If it’s on Halloween most likely those with kids will turn down the invitation because they have to take their kids trick or treating. However, if it’s just around Halloween then you can just invite adults if you want and if they want to come they can get a babysitter for the kids. If you want to do the cider mill for the kids and have a family oriented party you can do that too. The thing is the parents can make the decision on bringing their kids, and if you make it an all day event they may just come to the cider mill and then leave cause they need to bring the kids home before it’s too late. If they choose to have their kids stay there when the "adult party" starts then that is their choice as it is their children.
As far as being sued/liability the parent’s will be their supervising their children and it is their responsibility to keep their children under control in your home. As long as you make it very clear on the invitations that after 7 or 8 pm you will be starting the drinking bonfire then you have proof that the parents were informed of any indecent behavior their children are subjected to. This will hold up in court if you have a copy of the invitations you send out and enough witnesses that were at the party and received the invitations to stand up for you. If it gets down to this though then whoever you invited is not truly your friends and shouldn’t have come if they were warned and offended. But yes it is the responsibility of the parents to keep the children under control and out of harms way. It is only your job as a hostess to make sure that if any problems arise you handle them in the best way possible.
Hope this helps, and have fun planning and throwing a great Halloween bash.
you shouldnt hold bck your party because they have kidsif they comethey come if they dont they dont
Last night we had a huge campout at my friend’s house. There were 5 families – 10 adults, 12 kids. The kids played and watched movies while the grownups drank and played cards. Later we had a bonfire and everyone sat around it – the kids made smores and the adults drank. Everyone spent the night in tents in the backyard.
I think you’re overcomplicating the issue. Just have everyone over for a party.
I think you should specify that there will be drinking and partying, and that it is up to each child’s parents to decide if they want their children around that.
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with letting your friends with kids know that you would appreciate no kids at the bonfire. It sounds like you have thought this through very well.
I think this is a great idea! If parents want to go drop their kids with a babysitter or at a home and come back, I’d tell them they are welcome to return. However, I have no problem with the idea of an adults-only party. Explain to parents that you’d be uncomfortable with kids at the party. The only suggestion I’d have is to set a time, say 8 o’clock, for the change. That way you won’t have problems with kids seeing adults in skimpy costumes. Tell the later party that kids will be there until 8 and to be respectful if they come early.
Have fun!
Catherine
1.separate the parties,it will make it easier on you.
2.yes you are responsible,if someone get’s hurt on your property to a certain existent,they can sue you.
3. have everybody stay and pitch tents,and watch there own kids.no mess in your house then.
4.buy mask’s so the kids don’t see the skimpy costumes.
good luck!!
Offer to throw a party for both–let the kids have their fun and the parents have their fun–when the bon fire is lit–let the parents watch their own kids–but a couple of hours will tire everyone out–the bon fire will make everyone sleepy. Make NO offers to put everyone up in your house–that is too extreme. Keep it all safe normal fun. Lock up your valuables and breakables—buy enough little pumpkins ahead of time–and give ONE laundry marker to each kid–if they can do it without making a mess–do it outside if they can. Let them draw eyes and big smiles. Give prizes to each kid–everyone deserves a little prize–give a candy bar. BOB for apples? Anyone can do that. Have a costume parade up the street and when it is over–it’s over !!
I think it would be easier to have two separate events. If the people with kids want to be at the bonfire, they will try to bring their kids anyway if it’s the same day. If they wanted to "bunk over" with the kids, how would you keep the kids from coming outside to the bonfire? Who would be inside watching the kids after they went to bed?
Your homeowners insurance (or renters) will cover anything that happens at your place unless they can prove you were being negligent.
i think having the later part just for adults is a good idea. i have a son and have attended parties where i go and take my son then as it gets to be evening i leave and get him put in bed and leave him with a sitter and go back. im a bit sensitive about my son being around ppl who are drinking due to a specific incident.
I think it is a good idea. Just be sure that you are clear with everyone that the first part is family oriented and the second part is adults only. Personally I would be a great deal more offended if I didn’t know and suddenly had my kids in a position were they were around behavior that was not appropriate for their age. I think that you are being a really good friend by trying to include everyone.
my suggestion is that you start the kiddy party with parents and kids from 9 in the morning and set it outdoors. it will be like a halloween day picnic.set the time as from 9 to 5. in the cards mention the time and dont allow any kids with out their parents.keep a first aid kit hany and if the parents are involvedand if any kids get hurt, they cannot sue you.also child-proof the place of the kiddy party.have lots and lots of fun activities so the kids have fun. by 5 the kids will feel exausted and the parents will obviously take them home. you dont have to say anything.
as for the adult party, it can start late from 8;30 in the evening and you can host it indoors. the guest can relax and drink and so can you. dont make too many party games cause you will be tired from your day party.only allow parents who has no kids and enjoy. dont tell anything to the parents from your day party. they will be tired enough not to join your night party. if by chance they find out your night party then politey tell them that it is only for a small group of friends of your office.dont worry and relax.
It’s your party, and it is up to you if you wish to have children attend. You have shown great thoughtfulness in attempting to plan festivities for those guests with children and for those who wish to attend more adult festivities. Specify on the invitation that the bonfire will be for adults only and that the day trip will be family-oriented.
Your homeowner’s insurance likely extends to personal injury on your property, but check your policy to be sure. Yes, you can be held liable for any injuries or accidents.
Ideally, parents should be responsible for their offspring; however, children are fast and parents can be distracted at just the wrong moment. Also, some parents tend to be less observant when in social settings acting under the misguided assumption that other parents are also keeping an eye on the kiddies.
I dont think this is a party for children….I have a friend who isnt a mother and she invites me over all of the time….she knows I have a daughter , I just tell her NO . I will not subject my child to that sort of environment..My point being…….these people who ARE parents should know better on their own……if not , tell them I really dont want children at this party due to….drinking, adult humor so on an so forth! Good luck.
Those are two different crowds that you don’t mix.The best thing would be to do it in a different days.That way nobody gets hurt.And everybody enjoys their party.